An Introvert's Dilemmna

I am introvert.  Massively so.  The thought of talking to people I don't know makes me nauseous.  It causes me great anxiety and leads me to think of creative (and sometimes not so creative) excuses lies in order to get out of situations in which I might have to make conversation.

This "introvertedness"--coupled with shyness--even makes me avoid situations with people I know and whom I consider good friends . . . if I have to make conversation, I run like crazy!

This "issue" has been rearing it's ugly head for the past week.  My friend Rhonda, who has been to Haiti with me three times now, sent some money with me to be used for the older boys at Chedner's place.  Back in March these older boys had two puppies, and Rhonda had bought a big bag of puppy food for them (really for the puppies, but you know what I mean).  She wanted me to use this money for the dogs and then maybe find gifts for the boys (like phone minutes).

Well, both puppies died.  And the boys don't have cell phones.  So much for those two ideas.

I opened my big mouth and said that maybe we could all go out to lunch--maybe to Kokoye, a decent restaurant up on Delmas 31--on Monday.  Tomorrow.

Ever since then, I have been trying to think of excuses not to do this.  The thought of taking five boys that I don't know and having to make conversation with them terrifies me.  And, I have to make conversation with them in Creole, which I don't speak so well.  I want to cry.  I want to find some excuse--real or made up--to avoid doing this.  I have some very "passable" excuses at my fingertips:  Lauren is sick, and I need to be at Notre Maison to "keep on eye on things"; I need to help the two new long-term guests get started on their projects; I "forgot"; it would be better to use the money on food for all the boys.  Anything but having to follow through on this.

I know what the right thing to do is, but it will be--so--hard.