Righty Tighty Lefty Loosey

           Righty Tighty—Lefty Loosey.

            I remember learning that from my parents when I was a child—turn things right to turn them off; turn things left to open them.  The same concept applied to screwing things in or out.  It’s a decent mantra to live by.

            It just doesn’t work in Haiti.  I’ve learned that there’s no guarantee that you need to turn the shower faucet left to get running water.  In fact, quite often you need to turn it right to start the water.  Same goes for sink faucets.  And, you gotta love it when the handle just spins, and it’s a crap shoot as to whether you’ll get water or not!  I had to turn water off today in the showers at the Center.  Two handles, one theoretically for hot water, the other for cold.  One you turned left to turn off, and the other you turned right to turn off.  We have five shower stalls, all with different configurations of turning the water on or off!  Go figure.

            I’ve also noticed that the hot/cold taps are often switched in Haiti.  Not unusual to find the Hot handle on the right and the Cold handle on the left.  Maybe it’s because most Haitians don’t have hot water, so it really doesn’t matter what side it goes on!

            Haitian Driving.  

          This is another topic near and dear to my heart.  I first thought Haitian drivers were just plain bad.  They didn’t know rules of the road; they didn’t know how to shift with ease; they didn’t understand the point of turn signals and/or lights. I learned over time that the turn signals and lights and shifting had nothing to do with drivers’ lack of knowledge. It’s most likely that the vehicle is in such bad condition that lights don’t work, gear shifts are old and temperamental, or the signal is broken.

            I then thought that Haitian drivers were crazy.  They fly all over the road, making up lanes as they go.  They drive down the wrong side of the road.  They turn a four-lane street (two lanes going each direction) into three lanes going one way and the fourth the other.  Then you’ve got folks deciding that the sidewalk or shoulder of the road should become another lane.  Chaos ensues with lots of honking.  If people just followed the rules of the road, 90% of the traffic jams would disappear.

            But, crazy didn’t seem like the right term either.  I mean, it’s not as if Haitian drivers have a death wish or drive the way they do because they like the adrenaline rush.  

            I’ve decided it’s impatience.  Haitian drivers, I think, are simply impatient.  In general, Haitians don’t do lines.  At school, kids don’t wait in line for a drink—they simply crowd around and push to get to the water tank.  They don’t wait in line to go up the slide—they push others aside so that they can climb up.  Adults are like that, too.  They push their way to the front of the bag check at stores.  They line jump in stores.  

            So, if Haitians don’t wait in line in other places, why wait in line while driving?  Why wait your turn at an intersection when the sidewalk is free and you can use it as a driving lane?  Why wait for the big truck to make its turn when you can speed up and sneak through the gap quickly?  Who cares if the sneaking ahead and creating extra lanes causes the very traffic jam that you want to avoid?  

            That’s my conclusion—Haitian drivers aren’t bad or crazy.  They’re just impatient!