Great Expectations

          I had great expectations for yesterday and today.  In my mind, we would arrive in Jacmel by 3:00 p.m. and have time to sit by the pool or lie on the beach.  We would have a relaxing dinner in the hotel restaurant overlooking the sea and get a good night’s rest before meeting with my Compassion child this morning. 

            Well, Haiti took my expectations had dashed them.  I should know better than to expect anything on my terms from Haiti.  If you read Saturday’s blog, you know that actually getting a car and driver proved challenging. The trip to Jacmel and this morning have proven more difficult yet.  We left relatively on time (12:15—noon was my target departure), and I figured about three hours to Jacmel (I had been told it’s a two-hour drive).   Half hour into the trip my expectations began their crumble.  We ended up in a “blokis mauvais” (bad traffic jam) that lasted just over two hours.  We hadn’t even left Port-au-Prince, and my dreams of relaxing by a pool were drifting away.  Unfortunately, I didn’t handle it too well.  I became quiet and cranky.  I had wanted to have some control, and that was snatched out of my hands.  My mood didn’t improve even after the “blokis” because our drive, a friend of mine, turned out to be both a cautious and nervous driver.  We finally reached Leogane and started up though the mountains.  Unfortunately, the driver chose to rarely go over 40 miles an hour and often stopped when another vehicle approached.  With every kilometer I grew more and more irritated with the slow pace because my afternoon of relaxing with my friends away from 42 children was quickly disappearing.  I should have known better than to expect delay-free, trouble-free travel in Haiti.  I was angry at Haiti for being Haiti, and I was angry at myself for expecting. 

            Finally, we could see Jacmel in the distance, and the sign read “Jacmel 10 Km.”  Forty-five minutes later (9.3 miles) we finally arrived in the city and made our way to the hotel.  My mood never improved.  The hotel didn’t look anything like the pictures; in fact, it looked pretty much like a dump.  At this point, all hopes of relaxing with friends were dashed. Kaput.  And to top it all off, we discovered that the strong odor of gas we smelled across the mountain came from a leak in the gas tank. 

            Usually for me a good night’s sleep takes care of my poor attitude and dejected state of mind.  Not so much this time.  Hertz has to drive another car from PAP to Jacmel to replace the original rental.  I’m assuming that we will be charged for the gas leak (this is Haiti, after all), and we need to have the car back by 7:00 p.m. tonight because it’s a two-day rental.  That didn’t worry me until seeing just how slowly Oriol drives.  We don’t leave here until 2:30, and we don’t have the luxury for 3 ½ -4 hour trip across the mountains; and God forbid there be another “blokis mauvais”!  This whole trip is costing way more than I had planned, and it’s not the relaxing trip I had hoped for Susan and Rhonda. 

            All of this to meet my Compassion child whom I’ve been sponsoring for a number of years.  I’m holding on that meeting him will make this whole escapade worth it.  I have been trying to let go of my expectations for the meeting so that I can focus on his expectations.  I just realized that this meeting today is less about me and what I want and more about him and his expectations.  I wonder what he expects from today.  Will I live up to his expectations?   Will he leave thinking “I came all this way by motorcycle and tap tap for this”?

            Lessons learned:

1.       Haiti is Haiti.  Don’t expect it to function like America.

2.      Let go of the control.

3.      It’s not all about me.  In fact, rarely is it ever about me.

4.      Focus on what others need/expect, not on my own expectations.

My child arrives soon.  We can swim in the sea or the pool, we can kick a soccer ball around, we can share a meal, and maybe I can meet someone in his family.  And, he’s probably more nervous than I!  I will help him to relax, and we can have a great day.